​Bright sunshine, fresh green grass and newly painted goal posts greeted the team as they arrived for their first game of the season. Away to the impressive set up that is Beaumont Town. The management team rolled up ready to put the team through some pre season drills. There was a rumouring in the crowd when Coach Finch showed up wearing a pair of Camerons shorts. The rumbling from the crowd was the collective sound of small children crying, men laughing and women vomitting. The writer believes that the FA have issued a new directive as a result of this exposure ruling out any further sightings of the knobbly knees. 

As the team stretched off there was a new face in the black and white stripes. Josh, the star signing from rivals Alexton. He looks a shrewd piece of business by the management team. 

The ref put his pint and fag down and issued last minute instructions to the assistant refs. The official team looked resplendent with their brightly coloured flags. The bigger pitch was not daunting to the team but the same could not be said of the ref.

The match kicked off and the Magpies started just like they finished last year. They dominated possession and the passing was crisp and impressive. The team pushed the hosts into their own half and looked very dangerous. The first chance was created down the right and a cross was put into the box. The ball was turned in by Tom K but as he wheeled away to celebrate the ref blew for a handball. A dubious decision. Tom K threw his hands in the air in despair, just like his dad still shows him.

Beaumont Town broke and managed a rare foray into the Thurlo half. A speculative shot was blazed over but the defensive three of Tom H, Adam and John had everything under control, just like their dads show them.

Then came the opening, a wayward pass from the defence fell to Will's feet. He unleashed a shot that beat the keeper for pace and height, just like his dad shows him. 1-0.

That was the sign for the floodgates to open. Thurlo continued to press and pass. They forced an error and Zak was in on goal, with a piece of trickery (or near trip over the ball?) he beat the keeper and slotted in the second, just like his dad showed him. 2-0

Some more great passing and Josh was in on goal. His shot was saved by the Beaumont keeper who was facing wave after wave of attack. Thurlo had a free kick that was put in the box, Tom K turned in the ball with a deft touch only for a dodgy offside flag to be raised. The crowd groaned in disapproval. 

More pressure from Thurlo then Will shot from long range o beat the keeper 4-0. He later credited the goal to his dad who showed him how it was done.

So half time 4-0 and the management team talk pretty much wrote its self. "More of the same please lads."

The second half kicked off and it seemed like the hosts were going to try and make a fight of it. It didn't last long. Teddy put a slide rule pass through Tom K timed his run to perfection and placed the ball passed the keeper. 5-0 just like their dads showed them.

Moments after the kick off Zak broke down the left and smashed a shot into the net leaving the despairing keeper grasping at thin air.It was a wondrous shot just like his dad showed him. 6-0.

More was to come Harley surged to the by line and pulled a perfectly weighted ball back, just like his dad showed him, for Zak to get off a peach of a shot. 7-0 

Teddy then made a run and dribble like Messi and walked the ball into the net just like his dad had showed him. 8-0.

Beaumont tried to come back into it and they had a break down the left. The scrambling Thurlo defence and stout keeping of Cameron, just like his dad showed him, kept the hosts out.

Thurlo passed, pressed and then surged into the Beaumont box and Harley unleashed a shot that was saved. Tom K followed up like all good strikers and smashed in the rebound for 9-0.

Teddy added a tenth before complacency set in and Beaumont Town made rare appearance in the Thurlo half. A cheeky shot from the striker beat the keeper to make it 10-1. The OTT celebration perhaps masking the lack of concentration that the Magpies could be forgiven for with such a commanding lead.

Thurlo were yelled at from the side lines by the management team and they picked it up. Harley spread the play creating space for Zak to take the ball and smash in another. 11-1

And there was time for one more, this time Zak turned provider as he passed to Will down the left and he slotted the ball passed the now despairing keeper for 12-1.

The one player who deserves a special mention is the keeper Cameron. What was an uneventful and probably boring day for him did not mean that he dropped his guard when called upon. He came out and closed down balls when asked to do so and he marshalled his troops from the back. Just like his dad showed him I am sure busier days lie ahead. 

The ref blew for full time to put the hosts out of their misery. A pleasing display by the boys as they start the new campaign. It was clear to see that the dads have been putting in some extra coaching during the off season as the lads looked like images of there dads in yesteryear. This writer crosses his fingers for the same sort of results from the coaching staff as the season will be long and demanding. So, in summary, a great start and much more of the same please Magpies.